LOST CREATIVITY

With packing, moving, Justin being away for a month, and my obsession with getting the garden established in the new house, my sewing machine has been forlorn and abandoned. I get inspiration for a garment, then Jarvis or my tired body draws me away, and yet again it is left sitting gathering dust.

I finally bought myself a desk to replace the one Justin borrowed (stole), but I think part of the issue is that my new sewing area lack inspiration, it is just plain and out in the open. The white wall, a dirty window, and (honestly) a bit of a dumping ground for my sewing stash, all of this does nothing to inspire creativity.

In my head I keep thinking if I make the space more 'me', I will feel the desire to create. But the double conundrum is, I am not inspired to decorate the space as it has no personality.

However, true to the blogging world Jane at Fight Platform Living gave the nudge along to set up the machine and put it to work with this post. All I made is one cushion at the start of Jarvis's nap. But fingers crossed this is the first step back into my sewing obsession.

Any suggestions on how to turn a plain area into a creative zone, when your own creative energy is missing? 

“Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It’s self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can’t try to do things. You simply must do things.” - Ray Bradbury

DIRT AND GRASS

On Friday I think Jarvis thought he was in heaven. What is better than a garbage truck or the postie to an almost two year old boy? A dump truck full of dirt and a semi filled with grass.

This guy looked like Santa to Jarvis.

Delivery was meant to occur around eleven. Yeah I guess that sounds like 7am? Lucky for me the dirt and grass was delivered onto our driveway and I had to cart it all up to the back of the house and lay it. 

Around 11am, Dad came to the rescue and came over to help. Who knew grass was that heavy? We had to get it done by the end of Friday as it was blocking in my car. Note to self, move car first next time.

The grass was laid, and I learnt a few things. When I lift heavy weights I am an old lady grunter. Do not allow an almost two year old loose with the hose on a huge pile of dirt. Wet dirt is even heavier than dry dirt. Laying grass is hard for two OCDers like Dad and I, grass must be neat! And do not lay down on new grass when you are the only adult home, a small child will not pick you up and carry you into the house and put you in the shower. He will however jump up and down on you as if you are the new yard toy.

 They could have left some on the truck, or at the very least carried up for me?

Jarvis stood waving to the empty semi for ages, long after it had driven away. 

EDUCATION GUEST POST MARIANNE FROM: Esme and the Laneway

This week’s guest post on Education comes from Marianne from Esme and the Laneway. The lovely Marianne and I share a love of vintage, oh if only to spend one day in her wardrobe! I would be in vintage heaven. Marianne also gives some great advise on her blog about wearing and owning vintage clothing. Make sure you pop over to Marianne's blog and Facebook page and give her lots of love.

I didn’t get to know my grandmother all that well but I’m glad I had the chance to know her at least a little bit.

Born in England, she moved to South Africa in her twenties, returning to the UK in her sixties when I was about 8 or 9. I think she lived with us for a while but I can’t really remember; perhaps she just stayed with us for a week or two or perhaps it was longer. It’s all a bit hazy and quite a long time ago.

And while I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with her, I did see our similarities. She had dainty hands and feet and was a foot model in her younger years. I, too, have small(ish) feet, and while I’ve neither posed nor pointed these tiny tootsies for the camera and have no pressing desire to do so, I am more than comfortable to expose my peds to the world – no small feat (ha!) in a world where we are so often shy of such apparently straightforward things. But there’s no foot shame here! They say things skip a generation and hey, I’ll take it!

But moving from one country to a very different one after growing used to a certain lifestyle for almost a whole lifetime is not easy. Adjusting to a new home and a new set of circumstances – and, from what would be a very old memory, the cold weather! – is a big deal and my grandmother seemingly just... dealt with it. In a practical, no-nonsense way, she simply got on with it. Of course, being a child means you aren’t privy to a lot of things and there would have been good times and bad times, but there was an overall attitude she radiated of just getting on with it.

There could have been a hundred things she could have taught me, but she gave me a most important lesson: play the hand you’re dealt.

I don’t have any photographs of her, but I like to think of her and thank her for setting such a good example and being a strong, female role model in my formative years. And, well, yes, for the neat feet, too!

Image sourced by Marianne off pinterest

Please Note: Images and words are Marianne's unless otherwise indicated

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Father, Brothers, Uncle, Nephew. The Ma men, all so similar in so many ways.

Jodi over at Che and Fidel has inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. Since I already take 100s of photos of my children each week, so I thought I would twist the idea a little. What I never seem to get is group shots, images of the family together, whether it is my two children, Tamika and Jarvis, or me with the kids, or shots of Justin and I. So I am going to challenge myself to get one image of "my family" per week.

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My final catch up in the 52 series!! Tamika adopted a new kitten, so thought he should make the family portrait. We are actually babysitting? Catsitting the kitten this week-end, I am serious worried for it near our cat. Hmmm any hints on how to keep the kitten and Tira in the same house without fighting? 

Jodi over at Che and Fidel has inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. Since I already take 100s of photos of my children each week, so I thought I would twist the idea a little. What I never seem to get is group shots, images of the family together, whether it is my two children, Tamika and Jarvis, or me with the kids, or shots of Justin and I. So I am going to challenge myself to get one image of "my family" per week.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN

In my mind Justin is still a boy. When I first met Justin he was a soft gentle soul, in his early 20s. A baby compared to me. Justin has always seemed so young. He even got asked for ID at a pub when he was 29. I had to go to the bar and buy his drink. Yes the heavily pregnant woman bought the scotch for her toy boy. 

Even last year when Justin celebrated his 30th in Paris. I still thought him so young. But this year we both were walking around saying 31!!! WHAT? How did that happen so fast? Where did the last year go?

Justin's birthday was a easy day. Waking to presents. Taking Jarvis to his first movie. A yummy lunch. Full body massage for Justin. Then out to dinner, Justin, Tamika, Jarvis and I went to an "All you can Eat" ribs restaurant. Hot Chocolates for desert and Jarvis's first baby chino.

Nothing over the top, but it is the quiet days with my family I like the best.

What ever age he is, I am grateful to spend another birthday with him. Even more so this year as his birthday fell in the week in between his two weeks in Cambodia and his two weeks in Hong Kong. 

As a late birthday present, why don't you pop over to his blog (Yes I have a partner who blogs!!!) Justin Ma Photography or to his Facebook page and give him some love. Well a like will do!

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We were lucky enough to have Justin home for one week; between his volunteer trip to Cambodia and his holiday to Hong Kong. Even luckier was that Justin's birthday happened during this week. But Justin being the kind of Dad that he is, opted to spend the day spoiling Jarvis.

Jarvis was so happy to have his Dad home. Plus I also think even extra happy because his day involved "Broom Broom", yes Jarvis is a car lover!

Jodi over at Che and Fidel has inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. Since I already take 100s of photos of my children each week, so I thought I would twist the idea a little. What I never seem to get is group shots, images of the family together, whether it is my two children, Tamika and Jarvis, or me with the kids, or shots of Justin and I. So I am going to challenge myself to get one image of "my family" per week.

PS Don't forget to jump onto my Facebook page and give me a like!

EDUCATION GUEST POST SARAH FROM: Love love, lady

This week’s guest post on Education comes from Sarah from Love love, lady. What first attracted me to Sar's blog was her honest and her open heart. Make sure you pop over to Sar's blog and Facebook page and give her lots of love.

I am blessed to live in a country, which allows me the honour of a quality education no matter my gender, cultural background or social status. An education I have freely accepted, and often taken for granted (apologies to my ninth and tenth grade teachers!). I have had the freedom to choose a specialty education; immersing myself in a creative arts degree tailored to my desire to produce and perform. Yet it is the ‘life education’ I have experienced which has moulded and formed my being the most.

Now, before I ramble on too much, I feel I should fill you in on a little of my background:

Much of my life thus far has been influenced by my Christian upbringing - I lived a quiet and ‘normal’, God-led childhood in a middle class family, with my father, mother and two younger sisters. I received a combination of public and private school education, and (voluntarily) attended a local community church throughout my teenage years.

I should add that although I was firmly indoctrinated in this Christian upbringing, I was most definitely the black sheep amongst the flock, and it was obvious from a young age - always curious, outspoken and embarrassingly inquisitive of all I was taught.

The reason I speak of my ‘good Christian-girl’ upbringing is that many, including my biological family, perceive my lifestyle now to be a contradiction of that education. I’m not going to delve much into it, other than to say that, I live harmoniously in my spiritual and lifestyle choices. I am happily gleefully committed to a lovely woman who enriches my days through sharing her knowledge and passions with little ol’ me.

I believe being kind, loving and humble are honourable attributes in a person, no matter their past, present or future. I believe we are all deserving of equal education opportunities.

Through years of toil in formal education I have finally discovered that I learn by ‘doing’. I need to hear, see and feel for my mind to fully absorb and process.

Much of the knowledge I have gained has been via life experiences - getting my hands dirty, my heart broken...and pieced back together again, and my mind awakened by all that this incredible world contains. I have lived in and through famine, homelessness and intense depression. I have been blessed with the companionship and friendship of many beautiful souls, and I have experienced the physical and emotional loss of too many of those relationships. I have experienced the satisfaction of providing for myself and my family through honest, hard work. Most of all, I have loved and been loved, unconditionally. It’s because of these life experiences that I am, well, me.

We live in a world of immense experiences - all offering up equally vast opportunities for education. I will never cease learning from those around me, and I am excited for the day that I have the opportunity to pass my knowledge onto my own young. To create and shape a life through my own experiences will be my greatest achievement, I’m sure.

It’s an honour to gain knowledge from one another - to educate and be educated is what makes us human - it unites us.

* My many thanks to Julie for inviting me into your beautiful space and for the opportunity to share my voice on a topic close to our hearts. Sar xx

Please Note: Images and words are Sarah's unless otherwise indicated

22 MONTHS

Two and half weeks late but here is Jarvis's Monthly Update

Growth & Appearance:

My mullet man, your tips are going blonde! What? How can I have an Asian blonde child? Okay, well maybe not blonde, but they are definitely a light honey colour. At some point I guess I will have to cut your hair, but for now you are wearing the long tussled hair very well.

At first I thought your new teeth were too big, but now I am use to them, I think they go well with your huge grin.

You have gotten taller and your feet have grown, you have gone up a shoe size and a nappy size this month.

Eating:

You are a good eater and we have never had any trouble with your food in-take. You let us know if you do not like anything by throwing it off your plate. You are a little gobble guts like your Dad. I am scared of how much you already eat. I think our food bill is going to be enormous.

Talking: 

Talking is still not happening. You have added nup/narrh (no) and up. You are attempting to say bath. But you whisper baaa. The same for pasta, it is a whispery pa. You have started calling cars, real and your toy cars, broom broom. Which is odd, no one has every called them that to you.

Sleeping: 

You have done so well with your night sleeps, since moving into the new house. You go down every night around 8:30 and sleep through until 6:30. Yes the magic that all parents hope for. You are now sleeping through the night! Oh, my I feel light a new woman. It is amazing what three weeks of uninterrupted sleep can do for a person.Your cot is right next to me, and on the odd occasions you reach out for my hand during the night. But you hold my hand and settle back to sleep.

Development:

You now use the toilet all of the time at home, okay, well you still love peeing in the yard. I am just not sure how to start taking you out of the house without a nappy, you pee so much!

It seems as if with this new house has come a new maturity, my baby is long gone. You are so much fun to be around. The only thing that seems to upset you of late is when Tamika visits and has to go home you get upset with her leaving. I think this is tied in with Justin being away for two weeks.

You are developing strong habits. You like things done a set way, if Justin or Tamika do not do them the way you want you get really frustrated when trying to communicate with them.

Favourites: 

Your love of books is as strong as ever. You also love colouring in/drawing and will sit quietly for ages doing this. It is with these two activities, it is the only time you are still.

You have not spent as much time in the yard in this new house as there is not much shade. But when we go up the back to dig in the dirt, you are one happy mud covered little boy.

As far as toys, it is Matchbox cars all the way with you. They are all over the house. I believe they hurt more than Lego when you stand on them.

How I am thinking/Feeling

For two weeks of this month it was just the two of us in the new house. So it was strange and yet familiar. It was hard to see how much you missed your Dad. His motorbike jacket, sigh, every time you saw it, you would stroke it and rub your face on it and say “Daddy”, broke my heart.

We kept busy, unpacking, gardening, walks, swimming, library visits, through all of this you were my happy chatty companion. When it is just us, you talk (well not talk, but chatter) so much. You are with me 24 hours a day, seven days a week and I never tire being with you. I am not a parent who looks forward to a break from her children, I hate any separation. I think it is worse with you as I know from Tamika, how quickly you will grow up and become independent.

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Playing catch ups. This is not the best quality image. But I just love so many elements of this photo. Naked ice cream eating on hot sweaty nights (well Jarvis was naked, thankfully Tamika choose to keep her clothes on). Sibling interaction. How both my children love making over the top expressions.

There were much better images, however, with Jarvis being naked I had to choose an image in which he was covered.

Jodi over at Che and Fidel has inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. Since I already take 100s of photos of my children each week, so I thought I would twist the idea a little. What I never seem to get is group shots, images of the family together, whether it is my two children, Tamika and Jarvis, or me with the kids, or shots of Justin and I. So I am going to challenge myself to get one image of "my family" per week.

EDUCATION GUEST POST STEPH FROM: this brown wren

This week’s guest post on Education comes from Steph. How do I begin to describe just how lovely Steph, and her blog, this brown wren, are? From her dreamy imagery, intertwined with the poetry of her words, Steph weaves a special magic through her world, which she shares so beautifully with us.  Make sure you pop over to Stephs's blog and Facebook page and give her lots of love.

I look down at the little toy clothes line beside me and smile at the “smalls” hanging neatly in a row. The fabric smoothed and taut with two pegs either side letting the breeze do its job.  From a sunny spot perched on the side of the sandpit she has watched me do this very same chore every day for as long as she has been.  My hands have moved rhythmically from basket to line like fingers along black and white keys and she has absorbed their every movement.  Words have never been spoken but the teaching was always there.  Like a shadow she mimics my ways.

I have threaded needles more times than I can remember and quietly demonstrated the up and down motion of embroidery. Tangles and tears, tediousness and triumph. My own task set down almost indefinitely as my attention shifts to her tiny fingers and their developing nimbleness. My time is all she asks of me. She is eager to learn.

She starts “big school” next year and although my heart will break with the longing for her I am heartened by the new delicious slices of this world she will see.  She will encounter patient souls who will reform her pencil grip time and time again, will gently remind her that ‘i’ comes before ‘e’ except after ‘c’ and will give their time and energy freely. I hope she will be blessed with a year five teacher called Mrs. King who will tell her that she can be anything she wants to be…..perhaps a writer? And a Madame Simons who will ignite a passion of the French language and let her laugh raucously at life’s comedy.

Their speech, their posture, their view of this world will trickle in parts down into her tiny frame and will help mould her into a magnificent woman. They will read beautiful literature to her and untangle her brain when algebra ties it in knots. She will be guided on a journey more valuable than all the world’s jewels. She will learn.

To learn is to open one’s eyes, hearts and souls to all the magnificence of this world. It is life’s greatest gift.

Steph x

*Mrs King and Madame Simons were two of my brilliant teachers whose inspiration still touches me today. Thank-you wonderful beings.

Please Note: Images and words are Steph's's unless otherwise indicated

* First image by Tim Coulson.

EDUCATION GUEST POST LILA FROM: Little Wolff

This week’s guest post on Education comes from the lovely Lila from Little Wolff. The more I know Lila, the more we find out how much we have in common. From backgrounds in hairdressing, to raising children generations apart, to tackling crazy renovations Lila is a kindred spirit and I am honoured to have her share her story with me. Make sure you pop over to Lila's blog and Facebook page and give her lots of love.

Educating women post - Why (some) women fail at education.

There are many wonderful different stories of paths to study success that others have to share with you, but that’s not my story.

The first time that I put my study aside was surprisingly not when I became a single mum at 17 but a couple of years earlier when I left school for an apprenticeship that turn out not to be as secure as it had appeared. I returned to high school and continued my pattern of unease and briefly left home and school again ending up pregnant and back at home at 16. Pregnancy didn’t stop me studying but once Miss P arrived between adjusting to a baby and the expectations at home it all seemed too much, within six months I’d entered the workforce and study was shelved.

In the years since then I’ve started studying and have completed several small stints of study and certificates but when I’ve attempted degrees I’ve lasted six months maximum, and it’s not because I’m a bad student I achieve quite high grades.

My story is one of repeated unfulfilled attempts to study and while that’s most likely not an inspiring tale to tell I think that failure is also an important part of opening up the conversation around educating women.

Support: It was around the third year of high school that I realised that my parents weren’t willing to support me through university. I’m not saying that women studying need full financial backing or to be cared for to be successful. But the fact of the matter is that to go to university I would have had to move a minimum of 400kms from home, find and finance accommodation, transport and living costs (my mother earned too much for me to be eligible for government support and being declared independent was also a difficult process). It seemed an insurmountable challenge and so I mentally shifted gears and stopped wanting an academic future for myself, thinking that way caused me to believe there was no point in doing well (or even attending school). If there’s anything to be offered from my experience it’s that telling and showing the women in your life that you are willing to support them (emotionally even if you can’t assist financially) in achieving their dream is paramount in them keeping that dream alive.

Self-sacrifice: It’s natural to me to put my needs aside for the greater good of my family. Except it’s not natural, as women we are trained from birth to sacrifice our desires to fulfil the expectations of others. Each time I’ve attempted study it’s placed our family under financial strain and as such I’ve left to ensure that my family have a more comfortable life, so that they don’t have to go without. For women to be truly equal in access to education we need to teach them from young girls that their needs and desires are valid and just as important as those of others around them.

Recognition: I’m not saying that women should get more recognition for studying than men, but to break through the social conditioning that is so common and achieve whatever goals they may have does need to be celebrated. Some reassuring that they are doing something important and recognition of this struggle to those who are in the midst of studying could be what they need to keep pushing through and finish. Recognising that finishing is just the beginning of the struggle for women in many industries and letting them know you have faith in their ability might be just what they need to put that education into action and break through the many barriers that still exist for women in the workplace.

Take it from me a little encouragement, some love and maybe some babysitting or a meal if you can manage it could be the supporting the girls and women in your life need while pursuing their education dreams.

Please Note: Images and words are Lila's unless otherwise indicated

PAPA SMURF MADE ME DO IT

He looks all cute an innocent, doesn’t he? But I blame Papa Smurf. Back in December last year I made a deal with myself, to buy nothing for whole year. This did not include food, gifts for others, stuff for the garden, and my hair colour and make-up. Why the deal? Originally I had budgeted to take a year off after Jarvis, but that year passed and I had no desire what so ever to return to work and be apart for him.

Papa Smurf

I had done so well, all new clothes were made from fabric in my fabric stash. New bath towels for the new house, were purchased with gift cards given to me for my birthday. Everything else I passed on. As the year went by it got easier, and easier to not buy. It just got easier to not want ‘stuff’, stuff that I really didn’t need.

However, yesterday I went to Bunnings. Oh that place how I love it, Bunning and Spotlight share my love equally. The lady in the garden section at Bunning knows me; I went in to get coriander that was it. But right there at the front Papa Smurf called to me. In fact all of the Smurfs called to me, to take them home and introduce them to Herbert, Basil, and Corri.

Herbert, is the big guy, Basil is wearing orange, and Corri is the pipe smoker.

Justin gave me the three garden gnomes, gifts that I adore. They sit happily at the back door, but Papa kept whispering he would look so smart at the front door. So I broke my rule. Then I broke it again. The stand behind Papa was also given to me by Justin, all year I have wanted to fill it with pretty flowers, but I knew this was bending the rule of buying stuff for the garden that was practical.

So now we have Papa Smurf and some Raspberry Fluff Petunias sitting at our front door. I am questioning, am I going to enjoy them? Or am I going to feel guilty each time I walk past them. 

Raspberry Fluff seedlings. 

My new coriander, which was the start of all of this.