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You know how they joke about mechanics cars? Well I am a photographer’s partner. I think the last time Justin took photos of me was when I was pregnant with Jarvis. Then this week I got two separate shoots! One of my new hair, and one of my new skirt. So I thought I would take images of this momentous occasion. Besides that, I love watching Justin work, he gets so serious. 

Jodi over at Che and Fidel has inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. Since I already take 100s of photos of my children each week, so I thought I would twist the idea a little. What I never seem to get is group shots, images of the family together, whether it is my two children, Tamika and Jarvis, or me with the kids, or shots of Justin and I. So I am going to challenge myself to get one image of "my family" per week.

LOLLY GOBBLE BLISS BOMBS

Do you ever make deals with yourself? Not like Deal or No Deal kind. More like the if I do this... the universe will do this in exchange.

On Tuesday morning I sat down at my sewing machine, and I was thinking “If I get this skirt done, I will wear it this afternoon to the Oncologist and the news will be good”. Jarvis was being obliging and having his morning sleep, so I sewed like crazy. I stuck to my no pattern full skirt that I am familiar with, as I didn't think I had the time to experiment. 

Jarvis woke just as I finished attaching the waistband. So I had to cheat a little and go without a button and button hole.

I wore the skirt on Tuesday to the Oncologist, and covered up the no button option by wearing it with a belt. The news was good (as I wrote in yesterday's post)

Now I am almost at the end of my fabric stash. Starting to feel nervous. What am I going to sew???? No fabric! I have asked for fabric off everyone for my birthday, either that or a gift vouchers to Spotlight. Fingers crossed I will have some fabric to sew with next week.

The fabric is actually a lovely crisp white, with a red, pink, orange and lavender print. Thinking this will be great in our hot summer.

Not sure what I am doing in this image. A model I am not! Look at those Jazz hands! 

Tamika named this skirt, because I have an addiction to Lolly Gobble Bliss Bombs and because she said the skirt looks like lollies. 

WHY I CHANGED MY HAIR COLOUR

Throughout my life I have had many hair colours and many styles. But for the last five years I have had safe hair. A blunt fringe, and all the one length, and red. Okay, so not everyone would think my red hair was safe, but in a world of rainbow hues, I thought the red was probably the most normal.

Image by Jam Photographics

Going into Norris to pick up my Crazy Colour in Fire Red was akin to visiting Baskin N Robbins with all those choices. I know Chocolate Mousse Royal is my favourite, yet sometimes you feel the need for Rocky Road. I thought I was too old to try a 'different' colour but it is strange how being told you may have bone cancer makes you change your mind.

So I figured it's my birthday and, if I have to loose it because of chemo then why the F__k don't I just do it.

Oh, yeah the BC thing. I always thought I was going to be open and honest on here, so here it is.....

I have made no secret to my desire for a dozen or more babies. I have alluded to the struggles to fall pregnant and the miscarriages I have had. So a couple of months ago I went to see my doctor, thought I would get a full health check and see where my FHS levels are. Basically am I dreaming? Am I way too old to have another baby?

What I did not expect was to be told I was still very fertile, and very healthy, all bar for one major concern she had with my blood. A conversation about white blood and red blood passed in a blur and I was given a referral to a Hematologist. Hematologist took more blood and did more tests.

From there he referred me to an Oncologist. Yes things got scarier. After a two and half hour wait with no food, and the day after Jarvis's surgery I go into see my oncologist again. So I was tired and stressed already. I was told Option A was Bone Cancer, Option B was something wrong with my Spleen (he did explain something about an enlarged spleen which is over active in its role of filtering the white and red blood cells.). Umm can I have an option C?

So more blood tests and a full body scan. Left me thinking why the hell was I worried about being too old for a hair colour? It is my hair, if I lost it all I would be pissed off at myself for not doing what I wanted. So after the full body scan I went to Norris and pick Cyclamen. A pretty colour but still not too crazy.

Friday half way through the colour change I get a phone call from my Oncologist. Well not from him, those guys keep you waiting and never call you. From his receptionist. He would like to see me sooner than my next allotted appointment can I come in on Tuesday? Umm he keeps me waiting and now he misses me? Bloody men.

So Tuesday I go back to Oncology at the Mater Private Hospital. Another blood test and a feel up by two separate doctors and I am informed I have option B. I may or may not have done a little happy dance. No BC. I feel as if I have equaled winning Lotto with my dodge of cancer. There will be on going stuff to deal with the spleen, but that I can deal with. I am not going to let a dodgy spleen get in my way.

So me and my Banti's Syndrome have a new hair colour. I spent the last couple of weeks going through in my head what if I had cancer and what if I died. I know morbid aren't I? But I came to the conclusion, other that not being around for Tamika and Jarvis, I really only have a couple of regrets on things I have not done. That over all I am happy with my life and very lucky. My biggest issues are my stress levels and my self doubt.

So my promise to myself after dodging the BC bullet is to be kinder to myself and to stop putting myself last. My hope is with this I will decrease my stress levels. So today my CyclamenHair and Me are going to do so sewing and forget about packing and moving house for now. 

ps don't you love my photo? Justin took it for me. 

Oh, and if you have not done so yet, pop on over to my Facebook page Iliska Dreams and give me a like

MY EDUCATION: PART THREE

Time now for me to cover the formal part of my education. After living with Pat, and being encouraged to grow my mind, I realised that not all education had to be as tortuous as High School.

Me in 2006 part way through my triple major

It was actually a combination of Pat, and my apprenticeship as a Hair Dresser that showed me I like to learn. I like to challenge my mind. As part of my apprenticeship I went to TAFE one day a week. When this was finished I opted to do more training. The first was an easy choice I became a qualified tutor, and tutored the students at TAFE. While doing this I also completed A Certificate II in Arts. 

But it was not until after I had Tamika that I was bitten by the education bug big time. When she started school, I started university. I worked full time and studied part time. So it was slow going through some of my degrees. But I managed to do a Bachelor of Arts with a major in Photography, at Griffith University.

Next another Bachelor of Arts, this time I went crazy and did a triple major, Art History, Media Studies and Literature Studies. Yup a triple on top of work and being a single Mum. There were lots of nights I thought I would go crazy. But I not only completed all three, I completed the three with a GPA of 6.75.

A couple of years off study I thought I would go back for more and did a Graduate Diploma of Education. Well almost, I have one prac left before I am a qualified teacher. Pregnancy and disillusionment with the Queensland education system got in the way of me completing this degree.

Will I study more? Of course! What next who knows. Any recommendations?

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Mimicking me in the bathroom testing the water was taken by Justin

I often feel as if Jarvis is my little shadow, following and duplicating my moves. This week we played with shadows on the fridge for ages, Jarvis trying to ‘catch’ my shadow hand. This was a game, yet in real time I watch him mimic me in so many ways and I am aware of just how important it is to set a good example for Jarvis.

Jodi over at Che and Fidel has inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. Since I already take 100s of photos of my children each week, so I thought I would twist the idea a little. What I never seem to get is group shots, images of the family together, whether it is my two children, Tamika and Jarvis, or me with the kids, or shots of Justin and I. So I am going to challenge myself to get one image of "my family" per week.

HOUSE HUNTING HORRORS

It has only just begun, yet already I want to head butt a brick wall. The search for a new property to rent is doing my head in. We were told we have two months left in our current rental, as the owner is selling. However, as this falls right in the middle of when Justin is away, we want to have found something, and moved, before the 20^th of September. 

Oh and let me tell you it is a hard thing to do. Getting a decent rental in Brisbane, at a good price is akin to winning lotto. We could live close to the city in a dumpster for what we could afford, or further out. Even then, the below is an example of a two bedroom, three quarters of an hour from the city.

I showed up today at a viewing, me and about twenty other people. Some are nice, and will chat. You even see some at other houses you look at.

Others, like this lady today, actually have no manners what so ever. She shoved me, to get into a room that already had way too many people in it for its size. When I turned to her and said excuse me, she played the ‘I don’t speak English card’. Um, I may not speak Cantonese, but I know that option!! To make it even sillier, she had been speaking perfect English to the realtor.

It makes me sad, we all want the same thing, a place to call home that does not break the bank. Oh, and someone to pack and move all of your stuff for you.

The other choice is I can live in a six bedroom home with ocean views, three bathrooms, a study and four car garage for $260 a week; the only catch is that it is on Russell Island. This one cannot claim close to transport as a selling point.

It may just be easier to win lotto than to find a nice rental at a decent price. 

MY EDUCATION: PART TWO. THREE KISSES

I sometimes believe the ‘stuff’ they do not teach you in schools can often be your best education. After completing year 12, I moved the very next day to Brisbane. Within a week I got a job on Bribie Island. So I moved from my friends couch, to my Grandmothers house on the island.

Me, back in 1985.

It was here, with Pat, I believe I got some of the best education and life skills I could have ever hoped for. Some bad, she taught me how to drink anyone under the table. Yes I was once a drinker. I also became a full time smoker with her. After all, you can not have a drink in one hand with out the ciggie in the other. OMG, her house must have stunk with the two of us puffing away.

But it was over these two bad habits that each night we would talk. I remember coming home from work and we would sit on the back veranda in summer, or on the couch in winter, and talk and talk.

Pat talked to me about everything. She was the first person that I learnt to debate with. We would argue and we would agree. But always we respected the other person’s opinion.

There were conversations about sex, Pat and I had the most honest conversations about sex I had ever had before. I remember the first time she talked of oral sex, I almost chocked on my wine. But then she said, women need to learn from each other. That sex is good as long as you are having for the right reasons. As in to please yourself, and never have sex to please anyone else.

Pat spoke of religion to me, and said it does not matter what god we believe in that every god has the same version of this one rule, that being “Do unto others”. If we treated everyone else how we wanted to be treated, the world would a better place.

We spoke of many things, but the most important lesson I think she taught me is that it is never too late to change. That there isn't a use by date, to learn new skills and to improve yourself and your mind. That to close your mind is the true sign of ignorance.

Pat I miss you more than I would have ever thought possible. I think it is fitting that three of Pat’s life lesson stay with me to this day, as Pat would always give three kisses hello and three kisses goodbye. Three kisses, I love you. 

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It has been a long arduous week. Jarvis fell and smashed his face on the concrete. Tamika moved out of home. Jarvis had to have surgery to repair the damage from his fall. There were other visits to specialist doctors. Justin got word that he is going to Cambodia to photograph something amazing (more on this later). We found out the house we rent is being sold, so we have to move. Plus I became one of those, yes a Mother-In-Law. (well sort of)

Tamika and Guy have been together for over two and half years. Now that they have moved in together I thought it fitting to include Guy in this week’s Family Portrait. Look at Jarvis emulating Guy with the remote and acting like one of the ‘big’ boys.

Jodi over at Che and Fidel has inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. Since I already take 100s of photos of my children each week, so I thought I would twist the idea a little. What I never seem to get is group shots, images of the family together, whether it is my two children, Tamika and Jarvis, or me with the kids, or shots of Justin and I. So I am going to challenge myself to get one image of "my family" per week.

TOURIST TUESDAY: WYNNUM

I called this post Wynnum, but in fact I am concentrating on one area, and that is Wynnum Kids Water Park & Playground, plus Whale Park & Wading area. 

From where we live at Camp Hill it takes twenty minutes by car to get there. This area is amazing on so many levels; it is a playground dream for kids. With facilities like two separate playgrounds, accessible toilets, shelter, nearby cafes, bike racks, parking and bike paths, Wynnum Kids Water Park and Playground has all of the practicalities sorted out.

The Wynnum Wading Pool was originally built during the 1930's Depression as part of the Unemployment Relief System. The pool and adjoining playground is a much-loved destination for a family day out. The pool fills with seawater at high tide and is an ideal spot for kids to have some water fun, without having to venture out into the open water.

A popular design feature of one of the parks, which has an ocean theme, is the whale pod waterspray, with its main attraction being that the children get sprayed by the spouting whales, Jarvis had so much fun getting soaked! . There are several shaded spots of the playground, however the water park is in the sun.

The park is also right next to Pandanus beach – a sandy, calm little stretch of water, perfect for young families. There is also the Jetty to walk and explore.

Besides the barbeques and heaps of space to set up a picnic, there are many shops and cafes within easy walking distance for snacks and supplies.

ps I know this post is image heavy, but there is so much to show.

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This was taken on Tamika's Iphone so the quality is not as good

At first I was not going to share these images, mostly for the criticism I received when I shared Jarvis’s last big injury. Then I thought stuff it, this is my blog, and the reason I started it was a record of my family. Part of that is my dare devil son. Yes he is adventurous and with that comes the falls. This time it is another major one. This image is after the blood has been washed off.

Besides being a record of Jarvis’s injury, it shows just how much love my two children have for each other. The day was meant to be about helping Tamika move into her new apartment. Instead Tamika dropped everything to be with her brother.

Jarvis has not only split open his top lip, he has cracked? Broken his two top teeth. The bad news is that he has to have surgery on Thursday. They will put him under and the surgery should take two to three hours. They will remove the nerves and cap the teeth.

They are waiting until Thursday to see if his spilt lip can heal a bit and (fingers crossed) his teeth do not fall out.

I was a mess yesterday, so much blood, combined with a broken tooth protruding from my son’s lip. Tamika, Bubby, love you so much thank you for always being there for you little brother and for me.

Jodi over at Che and Fidel has inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. Since I already take 100s of photos of my children each week, so I thought I would twist the idea a little. What I never seem to get is group shots, images of the family together, whether it is my two children, Tamika and Jarvis, or me with the kids, or shots of Justin and I. So I am going to challenge myself to get one image of "my family" per week.

20 MONTHS

Growth & Appearance:

I think you are beautiful. But then I am a very proud Mumma. I did not think you looked much like Tamika, until I looked back on her baby photos and saw how similar you two are. I think it is because everyone always says how much like Justin you are, that I forget that just maybe there is a little of me in you somewhere.

You just keep getting taller and taller. You may have outgrown all of your shoes, and your shirts are too short in the arms, but your little waist and hips are so tiny. Tamika and I looked every where but no one makes boys undies any smaller than 2-3. So we got some cotton nappy covers in a 000 for you to wear. They are still saggy on your tiny butt.

Your too big undies on your skinny butt

Eating:

Little man you are always hungry. Where does all that food go? You have not gained any weight in the last eight months! I am, we are, still very strict with your diet in regards to junk food. I do not think you need it. Your biggest spoil is icecream. You do not get your own serve, but we do let you have some of ours.

As of two weeks ago, I stopped breastfeeding. Neither of us are happy about this. You drink mostly water, but you love your T2 fruit tea for lunch.

We offered you fish and chips the other day, you turned your nose up at it and ate the greek salad and sultanas instead.  

Talking: 

Still no talking from you. Though definitely think the Mum is becoming clearer, thought it sounds like an old billy goat when you say it. You also have developed (made up) a word, zizie. You say it for your singlets with bees and lady beetle on. You also call my butterfly tattoo a zizie.

 You modeling a singlet with a 'Zizie' on it

Sleeping: 

Your sleeping patterns have not changed. However, since giving up breastfeeding getting you to sleep has been a struggle. You cling to me and fight for the breast. Even after two weeks you do not want to go with out. Early this morning I found you ‘trying to help yourself’ to the breast. You also are very clingy in your sleep, not wanting to be put down, you want me to hold you while you sleep and you either wrap your fingers in my hair, or cling to my top.

Development:

You are a dare devil. I think you are designed to scare me. You are a full on child, racing from one adventure to another. You have no fear.

But in saying that you are also very cuddly and loving. You may head butt and blow raspberries on me, but then you will happily climb into my lap for cuddles.

You also will not walk on paths, no matter where we walk you will not walk on the path you have talk walk off to the side.

You choose your own path to walk on

Favourites: 

You are such a happy soul, so easy to please. You will play in the garden for a couple of hours, carrying around your rake and just generally collecting leaves and sticks. Because we are having such a warm winter I will fill up your sand table with water and you think that it is so much fun to play in the water.

You favourite things involved anything I deem dangerous. Justin throwing you in the air and playing catch with you. Tamika spinning you round and round until you both fall over. You love to climb and to jump. 

You do not have a favourite book, but I only have to say the word and you run to your library stash and get me a book for you to read.

You like to fly

How I am thinking/Feeling

It has been a hard month for me emotionally. Stopping breastfeeding seems to have ended your babyness. You are entering the next phase of your life. One on hand you are so independent in your play, but then you do not like it if I am out of your sight. I am also torn, I love watching your strong independent nature. Yet I am honest enough to admit, I love it that you still need/want your Mumma around.

I would have loved to have given you a sibling closer in age to play with. Yet I feel so lucky and grateful to be a stay at home Mum.

 

MY EDUCATION: PART ONE

My story of education can be broken into three. Part one, primary and high school; part two Life Education, and part three tertiary education.

Me, just before I started school in Gladstone

Primary school nothing much of note. High school, hmmm well where do I begin and how much pain do I share? My parents moved to Gladstone third semester, year nine. I am not sure what was worse being invisible and not speaking to anyone for days, or the bullying?

Apparently I was different. My elder sister was/is the beautiful popular girl, with blue eyes, long blonde hair and even longer legs. Everyone adored her. My little sister was in primary school, and solved her dislike of school by simply going home everyday. What was also in her favour was she was great at sport and super intelligent.

There was physical and verbal bullying, always from girls. When will girls (women) learn to be nice to each other? Interestingly, I got called a slut. I was still a virgin, but because my elder sister and I had fake IDs and would sneak into the Shangrila Night Club I got this label. I was called weird and picked on for being different.

Eventually I had a group of friends? But there was always a sense of separation. I would not call us close, and when I left Gladstone I never saw any of them ever again.

There was worse that happened, but this is all I choose to share as I do not want to go into the negatives too much. What is positive about this life experience, is that it taught me, weird, different, the same, it does not matter. What does matter is to accept who you are. Those girls may have made my life hell in High School; however it has allowed me to make my own life choices, and not to follow popular opinions.

I finished high school and the very next day I moved from Gladstone to Brisbane. On the bus just me and my suitcase. Where I began the best part of my life and learning. 

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How to play catch with your son. Umm, Justin when I suggested catch, I meant with a ball, not with Jarvis. But of course our dare devil son loved it. The higher he went the move he laughed. Then Jarvis kept chasing Justin around the yard to do it again and again.

On a side note…. I have never picked a favourite of the week, for the simple reason, it feels as if I would be picking a favourite child. There are just so many amazing images: week after week I love looking at them. But I love this sense of community this 52 Portraits Series is bringing to the blogging world. 

There are a few, Portrait a Week options out there. A lot involve taking a portrait of your children each week. Jodi over at Che and Fidel has inspired me to pick up my camera and turn the focus inward. Since I already take 100s of photos of my children each week, so I thought I would twist the idea a little. What I never seem to get is group shots, images of the family together, whether it is my two children, Tamika and Jarvis, or me with the kids, or shots of Justin and I. So I am going to challenge myself to get one image of "my family" per week.